The No Purpose Entry

In the film There Will be Blood, the character Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis) says something very interesting that I find true of myself.

"I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed."

When someone succeeds, the typical answer to that success from others is either a congratulatory, "Good job!," an apathetic, "Good for him," or reluctant body gestures that suggest the previous. I notice that these are my usual actions as well, but seeing as how I am conscious of this social reflex, I also notice a dual nature to myself.

If someone succeeds, I am glad for them. Normal, right? But I also feel very uneasy. Especially if that someone succeeds at something similar to my success, my uneasiness is accentuated.

Some people say its best not to know another's thoughts. You can get emotionally hurt. But isn't it worse to leave it to the human imagination to try and guess these thoughts? Imagination is uncontrollable and so is curiosity.

In the case in question, when a person succeeds, the spectator or loser will look upon that successful person and wonder exactly what thoughts run through that person's head.

Consider this. A successful investor at a dinner party is informed mid-meal that his correct investments in stock have made him a billionaire in a second. Obviously elated, he comes to in a fork in the road. Most people would say something like, "his initial reaction would be to jump in the air and shout for glee, but knowing that would be rude, he instead would either refrain from elation and continue to chew his steak, or humbly announce his new-found fortune."

But also consider the action of his jumping on the table, pointing fingers at all the other businessmen at the table, laughing and gloating in the accomplishments of his investment. How disgusting, obscene, prideful, yet sadly rewarding would that be? "I am the winner. You are the loser. I outsmarted you. I overtook you. I reduced you."

Yes, this is a very vulgar statement to make in person. But do we all not think of this initially in light of accomplishment? Or perhaps it is just me. Or perhaps not at all. Perhaps this is just the product of thinking too much.

I don't even know why I wrote this all. No purpose at all.