After reading a certain friend's thoughts, I can wholeheartedly agree with her understanding and awareness of The Lingering Fear. The fear of actually taking a true interest in things. The fear of seeing without an assignment of scalar value or destruction by objective deconstruction. The fear of taking things to heart and appreciating without a complementary pat on the back. The fear of quiet and brutally decisive judgment upon ourselves, by ourselves, and everything not of ourselves. The fear that society becomes our existence, whether by siege, trickery, or our own compliance. And greatest of all, the recursive fear of fearing.
But what do we do? What can we do? The only thing I can see is to continue to live on. Whether in joy or in anguish, the Fear will always be there. Is sweeping it under the rug and proceeding in faith, the best thing we can do?
We should talk about this sometime. I would really like to.
Confirmation on the August 23rd...basically adult baptism. I have to write a testimony by this Sunday, but when I look at the blank page, I am at a loss of words as to what to write.
Going to try something new. Reading three books at the same time.
Dubliners - James Joyce
The Castle - Franz Kafka
White Nights - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Critique of Pure Reason - Immanuel Kant (for when I finish one of the above)
Something I wrote to finish.
Please indulge my superficial intellectualism. If not seriously, than for humble humor's sake.
-----
Steel webs crush fair Gaia
Black oil seeps from her pores
And among the solitary
we live in solidarity
Quiet are the streets
Silent are the alleys
There are whispers
but only whispers
Crouching behind the tin can
A-1 Lucky Dim Sum kitchen runoff
It licks past my shoes
Dumplings and sewage
Lady in the fur coat walks past my corridor
Heels click upon disheveled concrete
A hike in the city
A hike in her home
Her eyes catch sight of the crouching night shade
Deep eyes, luxury of soul
For the trembling man in the corner
plunder and pillage of the night.
-----
Friday, July 17, 2009
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1 comment:
haha the lingering fear. i like how you wrote about it so poetically (and so truthfully) lol it's the only poetry i get -__-
good luck with your confirmation! tell me how it goes
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