Mr. Shrink

Good evening, little worm!
I am Mr. Shrink!
I will open up your head today
And tell you what is in it.

Sit down, relax! Enjoy this spot of heaven!
Would you like some coffee?
Tell me 'bout her vicious, bloody killing?
A cup of tea, my worm?

Wait here just a moment
Let me fetch the signal generator
to probe your dirty mind
I'll clean it up. I swear it! Hippocratic oath!

My process? Very simple!
Ballpoint pen and legal pad!
I'll digitize your very soul
And expose it to your son, your lad!

Ah! Fear and love I see!
Very common feelings.
Causes mania, psychotic depression
Tabula rasa! Madness will not do!

STARE into my pearly whites
My doctorate degree.
What you have inside your head
All too common, a sort of ABC.

I don't believe in pills.
I believe in paper.
Here's your mind on this ten page form
Your character in statistics, to be duly filed.

Of course, Mr. Worm!
There can be a reason for it all.
Just be on time next week, we'll pick one out.
You're showing progress. I'm enthralled!